The Joy of the Journey: Healing from Church Hurt

The Joy of the Journey

Healing from Church Hurt

Church hurt is one of the deepest wounds a person can experience. When the place meant to be a refuge becomes a source of pain, confusion, and discouragement, it is easy to allow ourselves to withdraw and decide to avoid church altogether. Whether it was a harsh word, betrayal, exclusion, leadership abuse, or unmet expectations, the emotional and spiritual impact can be devastating. Yet, healing is possible. God’s Word provides clear and compassionate guidance for those seeking to overcomeand heal from church hurt and find peace again. In this article, we will follow several steps that can help us on the path of healing and restoration.

The first step toward healing is honesty. Many people try to bury their pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. But Scripture calls us to truth, even in our emotions.  We read in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”  God does not dismiss your hurt. He sees, He knows, and He is near. Acknowledge your hurt to Him and begin yourpath to healing.

The next thing we need to do is learn how to distinguish between God and people.  People are broken and flawed, and unfortunately, because of this,they can cause pain in others. God is not the one who hurt you!  One of the biggest struggles after church hurt is spiritual disillusionment. But it’s vital to understand that the failings of people do not reflect the character of God.  Miserable people sometimes enjoymaking others feel miserable. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 Peoplefail, and Leaders can fall short. But Jesus remains faithful. Your faith should rest in Christ, not in flawed people. When you center your relationship on Jesus, healing becomes more secure and lasting.

However, the natural reaction to being hurt is to withdraw and isolate ourselves from others. If we feel like they have caused us pain, removing ourselves from them is the obvious remedy in our eyes.  It’s natural to pull away from a person and even a community when you’ve been hurt. While time apart may be needed to process and pray, total isolation can lead to spiritual dryness or bitterness.  “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together… but encouraging one another.”Hebrews 10:24–25 Staying connected to trusted believers for prayer, conversation, and fellowship is vital. God often uses community to help rebuild trust and faith.

Next, we must release bitterness through forgiveness.  This is often the most challenging part of our healing journey, but it can also be the most liberating. Bitterness keeps the wound open; forgiveness allows it to close.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you… Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31–32.  I mentioned this in the previous article concerning forgiveness. Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook; it is letting yourself off the hook. Please understand forgiveness doesn’t excuse sin, and it doesn’t mean reconciliation will (or should) always happen. But it does free you from carrying the weight of offense. Forgive as an act of obedience, even if your emotions take time to follow.

Last of all, returning to your first love (Jesus) is a must.  Church hurt can damage your view of God’s people—but don’t let it steal your personal passion for Christ. Return to the simplicity of your relationship with Him. “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the works you did at first.”Revelation 2:4–5 Spend time in worship, prayer, and the Word!  Do this not out of duty, but out of desire to reconnect with your Savior. Let your love for Him be rekindled in private before it’s restored in public.

Church hurt is real, and so is God’s healing. Don’t let the sin or failure of others rob you of the joy and purpose Jesus has for your life. With prayer, the Word, community, and time, your heart can be made whole again. The church is Christ’s bride, and though flawed, it remains a part of God’s plan. Trust Him to redeem even your deepest wounds.  Jesus is the healer of the heart, the mind, and the body.  We live in a broken world with broken people.  People will hurt us, but Jesus is the healer!